50+ Funny Marriage Quotes For Newlyweds

Funny marriage quotes for newlyweds by famous authors
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Marriage is a pure relation between a man and women. If you are a new couple then Funny marriage quotes for newlyweds can make your marriage life more blissful. From their first days as husband and spouse through their brilliant years, wedded couples have the marvelous assignment of seeing to God’s steadfast love for each other, their youngsters, and society.


Funny marriage quotes for newlyweds by famous authors


Funny marriage quotes for newlyweds and some advice

  1. “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”  – Rita Rudner
  2. Guidance for the bride: don’t assume your partner will change after the wedding.
    For groom: don’t guess your wife won’t change!
  3. “If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman: she will be all ears.” -Sigmund Freud
  4. Assistance for her: he stole your heart, so take his last name!
  5. “Marriage is like a game of chess, except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.” – Jerry Seinfeld
  6. The cheeriest people don’t have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything.
  7. “Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.” – Ogden Nash
  8. On your wedding day, remember you can’t buy happiness – but a luxury home and a few sports cars on the driveway could help!
  9. “Marriage is a wonderful institution… but who wants to live in an institution?” – Groucho Marx
  10. “No! Please don’t eat me! I have a wife and kids – eat them.” – Homer Simpson
  11. One piece of counsel for a successful marriage – Keep her blissful!
  12. “By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” – Socrates
  13. “There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about.” – Oscar Wilde
  14. Advice for man: marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is… a husband!
  15. “Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is the bicycle repair kit.” – Billy Connolly
  16. “When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.” – Prince Philip
  17. For groom: don’t expect your wife won’t change!
  18. “The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.” – Ann Bancroft
  19. “Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted the whole day.” – Mickey Rooney
  20. Marriage isn’t generally 50-50. Some days you will wake up and may need to give 90% and your companion will give just 10%. Different days you may give only 25% and your significant other should put in the rest 75%!
  21. Five enchantment words for a fruitful marriage: I’m sad, it’s my blame!
  22. Some wedding guidance from the vision of the ages: Happy Wife, Happy Life!
  23. Do everything with adoration!
  24. You may now refresh your Facebook status…
  25. Keep in mind marriage resembles a bloom – Keep it bolstered and watered so it can bloom and develop!
  26. On the off chance that toward the finish of the wedding party you are hitched to the one you cherish – then everything went splendidly!
  27. Congrats! You have discovered that one extraordinary individual you need to disturb for whatever remains of your life.
  28. Guidance for spouse: If at the first time you don’t succeed – have a go at doing it the way your better half let you know!
  29. Congratulations on your advancement from “When will you wed?” to “When are you going have babies???”
  30. The amusing statement about marriage: Marriage is where the spouse works and wife shops…
  31. Guidance for a cunning lady of the hour: A man can be the leader of the house, however, a lady is a neck and she may turn the travel any heading she needs!
  32. For lady: from now you can eat whatever you need!
  33. Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings … and lawyers. Richard Pryor
  34. Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are. Will Ferrell
  35. Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up. Evelyn Hendrickson
  36. Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. Albert Einstein
  37. A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. Michel de Montaigne
  38. My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. Rodney Dangerfield
  39. Marriage: A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other for ninety-nine years, or until death does them join. Elbert Hubbard
  40. All marriages are happy. It’s the living together afterward that causes all the trouble. Raymond Hull
  41. The only mistake for which people are congratulated for is marriage. Ratna Deep
  42. Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterward. Benjamin Franklin
  43. When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that’s a few steps ahead is the one that’s mad. Helen Rowland
  44. Love is one long sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock! Zeenat Essa
  45. There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. Oscar Wilde
  46. Marriage is an adventure, like going to war. G. K. Chesterton
  47. Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. Helen Rowland
  48. More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse. Doug Larson
  49. Marriage is when a man loses his bachelor’s degree and a woman gets her master’s degree. Rama Kochhar
  50. To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the loving cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up. Ogden Nash
  51. Before I got married I had six theories about raising children; now, I have six children and no theories. John Wilmot
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